This just in… today’s earthquake in Mineral, VA that prompted the evacuation of several buildings in Washington caused the stock market to soar. Stocks edged a full 1.23% higher before closing for the day after the temblor* hit the East Coast. In other news, butter production in Bangladesh was up 0.615% on August 23, 2010.

       And that’s why financial reporting is completely ridiculous… All the financial reporting that talks about stock market movements should come with a required phrase – “We think that the stock market…”. It’s amusing how we try to peg exactly what caused the market movements and why. The truth is these are only guesses.

       But seriously, the stock market really did go up after everyone in Washington had to leave their offices. Coincidence? I think not.

* Note: I picked this up from NPR. Gotta love thesauri…