Providing Care for Older Family Members: Going Against the Grain

Corey —  February 23, 2013 — 1 Comment

My wife and I went to see Spiderman on Broadway last night. It was a great production and to be honest, it was one of the first times I had been so close to so many people in a long time. I really noticed how long it had been when I became aggravated that the people sitting next to us, came back 5 minutes after intermission ended, forcing us to miss a few crucial seconds of the play.

Not only did I notice our tendency to hang out with people in small groups, but I also noticed how individualistic our society is. As I looked around the theater at intermission while chatting with my wife, I couldn’t help but notice the many lights that flickered in the crowd. The mixture of cell phone screen lights could be compared to lightning bugs on a summer night. While somewhat amusing, it’s also interesting to connect the isolation to this visual display. In the middle of the quite social event, most people were in their own individual world. This is how our society is.

While I believe we are typically social creatures, we have created a world where we spend a lot of time alone. Driving in cars, watching TV, playing games on our cell phones, and the list could go on. Unfortunately this has huge repercussions. One of the most obvious is how we treat those closest to us. Western culture has often held a unusual value when it comes to living with relatives, let alone caring for them. As my grandparents get older, I can’t help but think what it will be like taking care of my parents.

We Need to Care for Those Closest To Us

Christianity has often emphasized the need to help others. Selflessly giving oneself for others is a dominant theme with its message(s). Yet, for some reason, we seem to have difficulty caring for those closest to us. In many ways, I don’t know what to expect when it comes to caring for my parents – if I will ever have to. They were the ones who took care of me – it just seems strange to have the roles reversed.

Yet, I know it’s an important thing to do. I would hate to think of my parents alone in a retirement home. When I was growing up, when my grandmother was getting ready to marry for the second time, she lived with us for about a year. I was too young at the time to think through the full implications, but to this day, my father’s sacrifice for his mom still amazes me.

Caring for Others is Difficult

Even though I know it is important for me to take care of those I love, I know it’s not easy. Reading about caregiver burnout is one thing, and the other is the financial burden. There are many days where I feel like I hardly have enough energy to clean my own dishes… how would I take care of someone else?

While I don’t have an answer to some of these questions, I do know that I need to prepare for these unlikely scenarios. In addition to doing some research from authority sites like Genworth, I plan to save a little extra money to both help with care of my parents and for me and my wife. Since we don’t plan to have kids, it’s only likely that there won’t be anyone there to take care of us, especially if we outlive our siblings. While that may be depressing for many people, I know it’s a part of life and you can only do one of two things: prepare for it so that it is significantly more manageable OR ignore it and face the consequences of your action. I choose to do the former. If you have yet to think what life will be like for you or your loved ones in 10 or 20 years from now, take time to think of the worst case scenario so that you can be a little better prepared.

Corey

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Corey is currently pursuing a Master of Arts degree in religion. While he enjoys learning and writing about Christianity, another one of his new passions is writing about personal finances in order to help others make wise decisions with their money.

One response to Providing Care for Older Family Members: Going Against the Grain

  1. My wife lovingly cared for her mother during her last days while this event forever changed us and our family. I so admire her dedication, love, commitment, strength, sense of honor and all the rest of her amazing qualities that she brought to bear in these final days. There is something to be gained by being committed to others that words really cannot describe fully. So your article is well conceived and very important for all of us to consider.

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